The Aloha Murders, Vol. I
Mayday Diary

"I shouldn't have had that last glass of Crown," I thought to myself, as I got up to an already-up sun and scratched my head...
My gorgeous fiancee was already at the bathroom vanity poking at her hair and dabbing her face with makeup... all the stuff that we as males, will never understand...
It was about 4:30am Hawaii time, and I wasn't ready to leave. But I
brushed my teeth in a hurry, drank a beer (don't try that in this
order), grabbed my boardshorts, sunscreen, shades, and hit the road.
From Ka'anapali (Maui) where we stayed, it was about 10-15 minutes to
Lahaina Harbor, where we were to meet with the Start Me Up Sportfishing
crew for an 8 hour adventure on the water. I was excited because I'm
always excited to immerse myself in other cultures - finding out how
they do things, what they rely on, and where their theories and values
lay.
Maui was no different; I wanted to become one with the freaks, the
locals, the wise old men, the bearded ladies, and drunken fire eaters
that could crush you with a piece of fire coral like an angry tiki god.
The food had been exceptional, the land was gorgeous and giving, the
drink was plentiful, and the entertainment - vast; now I was well on my
way to completing another part of this roller coaster trip to the
islands... fishing the turquoise and indigo blue waters for a day...
I remember hearing something on the television in the room the night
prior - something Maui (or maybe Hawaii) being on the same lines of
latitude as the Sahara Desert - that the sun stayed in the center of
the sky for most of the day in the summer... and it was already
beginning to feel that way as we carted out that morning.
We were the last to get there, and the skipper (Ryan aka 'Rhino') was
surprised that we did not have food or drink with us. The boat was a
Bertram, I think a 37 footer, but to my knowledge they refer to it as
the 42. Got on board and everyone dunked their colas and waters in the
ice chests aboard. I felt really dumb, but like any savage man, I
didn't want to ask them to hold the trip up so I could go and buy water
from the corner mart, so I figured I'd just suffer through it and have
a good time and swallow my own spit for the 8hrs. What about my fiancee? Well what about her, she's a savage as well!
We met the other riders and were off...

Yup. Those are barreled-out 130 reels. And yes, the rods are really that fat. And yes, you can really see the mono, and it is that thick... "Jesus," I thought... "are we going after the mother orca of them all?"
Truth is, down there - you've got a few major species: ahi (yellowfin), ono (wahoo), mahi mahi (dorado or dolphin), ulua (giant trevally) and of course a'u (marlin)... Sure the rods and reels we use in California would be grand if we were going after the all but the latter... especially when the latter could be upwards of five hundred to a thousand pounds... who knows what the waters have to offer on any given day... so hence, the goliath gear... I went inside and relaxed with my old lady, who decided she'd pass out on the couch... The cabin was comfortable, but don't expect the Beverly Hills Polo lounge, this is a man's boat and while you can still relax inside of it - it was designed to do one thing, and one thing only - to take Neptune's scaly pets from the depths of the sea.

This boat was big on trolling, I understand that most Hawaiian sportboats and serious fisherman are (that and surface popping or chunking)... So troll we did... one hour... two hour... sun hotter and higher in the sky... three hours... beads of sweat and no fucking water in sight... too humble (aka stupid) to ask... three hours... hotter now, browner skin... irish friend is burning... and four hours... calls on the radio on the bridge... other boats are getting their ono at the NASA buoy... we are now roughly 35-40 miles off of Maui - the boat was hauling ass and burning gas (I understood why we paid what we did to go out that day)...
To a native Southern Californian, who fishes the surface iron, flylines sardines, and uses live squid on the dropper loop, all this trolling seemed tiresome, and the sea was soon turning from indigo to tar-black as my eyes fought to keep the sunscreen out... but I relented - understood that I was not in California, and that I should be soaking up every bit of beauty on this lovely trip - from the gorgeous blue water, to the white-hot sun straight up in the center of the sky, to the fact my throat felt like a cat pissed in my mouth... I believed in the Hawaiian way, the traditions, my own salty luck, but most of all the skipper and his deckhand, Brandon (who was a captain too), who had been true to Hawaiian customs and kept plowing on... I knew they wanted us to catch as bad as I did, and so I bit my lip and sat back on the face-forward bench on the bridge, enjoying the breeze.
You could tell that everyone was happy to be out... but also, there was this ominous quiet aboard the boat... The skipper was focused, as was the deckhand, and we circled over ever piece of debris we could find - waiting for those four lines to snap off the rigger and give us the action and wailing cries we craved. It was about 5 hours into it and we'd followed dolphin pods, chased diving birds, and were out on an extremely quiet ocean when we all saw what looked like a speck of white (maybe a seagull?) way off into the distance...
"Looks like a dead whale," said the skipper.
"No it looks like a flock of birds in the water," said the deckhand.
Either way, we were full-steam ahead and all guns were drawn, our hearts beating and hope growing - with our fingers crossed that maybe, just maybe this might be the break we were looking for...
Upon closer examination - was it a whale, a flock of birds, a Buick maybe? No, a giant piece of driftwood - about 40 miles out - with two dumb birds sitting on top... tons of splashing all around... Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (WTF) is going on?







There's me and my favorite on the bridge. She finally got up. She was supposed to be the one taking all these photos while I stayed on the fish... but it worked out. Did I mention that she paid for the trip that day? The same gal who hooked up the new Accurate B2-50 and BX2-600 for me at Fred Hall... umm yeah, I kinda fucking hooked a grander! All kidding aside, she's the best, and I love her for it. I'll never forget that day.

The ride back to Maui was a glorious one. The sights were a plenty. I was hoping to see a Great White breach and eat these two bastards that were doing the touch-and-go on a parasailing outfit. It never happened - I guess the day wasn't perfect. But good nonetheless...

"Poor bastards," I thought, "could'a been me..."



Some were definitely small. Some not so much. Some bulls got bought the second we got off the boat - the local restauranteurs mobbed us and pulled them from the deckhand's bag or ice-trays flashing money wildly in their face as they held the fish out of reach - it was bananas (and an amazing sight to see)! The good news was, that none of the fish were wasted...

More people came by to purchase the fish (see above) -
"I'll take that one, and that one, and that one," he's saying...
See, he wants the nerf football tuna!

And yet another buyer... Notice it's a different shirt.
This guy was definitely more cutthroat and got
the crew bartering right away... He left with a big bag.


Here's me being an "untrained angler" and
making the mahi look super-sized... Meh.

There's our skipper, Rhino, playing nice with the tourists.

*The mark of a good day on the water? You gotta believe the airport held
my bags another day wondering what the hell I was transporting back...

It had been a searing day. My skin was like volcanic ash,
and the aloe and beer were my two best friends...
We hit the Fish House in Lahaina as I stared at all
the other fish I wish I had caught - the true angler
always thinks about the ones he didn't get...
Only one way to end this day:

Embarrassing-looking fruity drinks with my best friend...
- Big thanks to the Start Me Up Sportfishing Crew, and Ladat Boat - Capt. Rhino & Brandon.
- Big thanks to Bloodydecks.com for putting us together.
- Huge thanks to my girl for the sweet gift, and being such a good sport on that rocky boat ride!
...and thank you for reading this long report.
Two quick off-topic photos:

Tackle selection at Longs Drugs in Lahaina kinda
puts some local mainland operations to shame haha.

Here's Lahaina, completely blue @ dusk... I was a little tipsy here (hey, I was on vacation!),
Posted in Fishing Reports |
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